Jokes

bonfire night and guy tto print

 

In 1605 Guy Fawkes, along with others, plotted to kill King James 1 by blowing up the House of Parliament (the Gunpowder Plot). Since then England has commemorated the event, on 5th November, with bonfires and fireworks. In recent months you may have heard people ask “Where is Guy Fawkes when you really need him?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

How many safety inspectors does it take to light the bonfire?
4. One to light the match and three to hold the fire extinguisher

 

How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes?
23. One to strike the match and twenty two to fill in the paper work.

 

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire?
3. One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.

 

How many aerospace engineers does it take to light the kindling sticks?
0. You don't need a rocket science to start a bonfire.

 

How many Apple employees does it take to flame Guy Fawkes?
5. One to light the match and four to design the t-shirt.

 

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the bonfire?
0. Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.

 

How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire?
Both of them.

 

How many fish does it take to set the Guy Fawkes bonfire burning?
Surrealist.


How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize? 'Cause he was outstanding in his field'.


How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start your Guy Fawkes bonfire?


A policeman arrested two kids. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

He charged one and let the other off!


Latecomer:
Am I too late for the bonfire?
Host: No jump up there on the sticks, there is room next to that Guy.

 

 

 

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