Jokes

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My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti. U should of saw her face as I drove pasta...............

Well with a starter that good - the rest must be amazing! Have a read and a smile and these clever play on words

 

 

 

 

 

  • Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.

 

  • We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.

 

  • The Titanic was built to last, let that sink in.

 

  • If I survived a plane crash in the wilderness, my biggest concern would be how much my airport parking bill would be!

 

  • I wonder how many miles I've scrolled with my thumb.

 

  • I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.

 

  • Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go.

 

  • After the helicopter crash, the blond pilot was asked what happened. She replied, "It was getting chilly in there, so I turned the fan off."

 

  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

  • My wife told me: "Sex is better on holiday." That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive.

 

  • I read a survey that said 82% of people enjoy being cuddled. But if the people on this bus are any indication, the real figure is, like 0%.

  • A man on holiday in Spain thought he would email his sister back in England. But he made a typo, so instead of sending it to Joan Foster, he sent it to Jean Foster, the wife of a recently deceased priest. When she read it, she fainted. It read: “Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here.”

 

  • Doing the rounds of his barns in a remote country area, a farmer came across a parachutist who had landed in hay. “What happened?” asked the farmer. “My chute failed to open.” replied parachutist. “Ah, well, if you’d asked the locals before making your jump, you would’ve known that nothing around here opens on a Sunday.”

 

  • Children in the backseat can cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

 

  • On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: “Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?” To which the farmer replied: “Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!”

 

 

 

Have a great week - keep sending me the jokes

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