Jokes

funny pound symbol 26514932

 

 

"I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change"

 

Do you get it.......Bit of a groaner I know but makes me smile.

With the end of the Old Pound this week, I thought that we would have a few "money based Jokes to keep us going.

Enjoy x

 

 

  • If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

 

  • Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

 

  • To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

 

  • I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

 

  • Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

 

  • I've put something aside for a rainy day. It's an umbrella.

 

  • I am so poor I can't even pay attention.

 

  • If a man talks dirty to a woman, that's sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that'll be £6.50 a minute.

 

  • There's nothing I've learned from being a father that I couldn't just as easily have figured out from setting all my money on fire.

 

  • There are so many scams on the Internet these days.... but for £19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.

 

  • iPhone8 (X) has facial recognition. It looked at my face and told me that I can't afford it...

 

  • I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

 

  • What's the difference between a £20 steak and a £55 steak? February 14th.

 

  • I have all the money I'll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

 

 

Have a great week - keep sending me the jokes 

Fuertenews is a free publication bringing you news and views about Fuerteventura. Any donations would be welcome.