Jokes

snowma

 

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
-
Snowballs.

Ahh I know that is a shocking joke - but made you smile didn't it!!!!

 

 

 

  •  Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

    Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

    Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

    Patrick: "What school?"

 

  • A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

    The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.

 

  • Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

    Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

    Doctor: "Nine."

 

  • A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

    The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.

 

  •  Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

    My name is Paul.

 

  • I really can’t stand it when homeless guys shake their cups of money at me. Do they really have to rub it in that they’ve got more cash than I do?

 

  • Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water?

    And more importantly, where is my hamster?

 

  • Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife: “Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
    -
    “No”, she replies sleepily.
    -
    “I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me having to do anything. I think I’m getting super powers!” 
    -
    Emily replies groans: “Oh no, Peter! You pig, you just peed into the fridge again!!!”

 

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