News

Stressed Mummy

 

I have found it, it does exist!!! I was cleaning my 2 year old twins bedroom yesterday and I came over THEIR DIARY!! I was sure that they were keeping one, but I have never been able to find where they hide it. 

 So with pleasure - here is what the pair of little rascals really think....

  

 

 

05:00
We play this game at nights, we must get up and creep into Mummy’s room and bed, without waking them. I am better than my brother and after a brief discussion we decided that it was my turn tonight. I nearly made it to their room when Daddy must have heard as he got up and took me back to our room. Will see how my brother gets on tomorrow. I then decided to start calling for Daddy. I started with a low eerie call and slowly built it up to a loud cry. Just fancied seeing him again really and he may be missing me, no one came and so I did it again at full volume to make sure everybody woke up startled. I couldn’t make out the exact conversation from Mummy and Daddy's room but it seems to be a disagreement over who should get up. Why wouldn't you want to get up, your awake now aren’t you? And I was calling for Daddy anyway.

06.30
My brother walked down stairs this morning, but I got carried downstairs as I didn’t fancy walking so I threw a paddy at the top of the stairs. Daddy always smiles at me, kisses me then tells me I stink. Every day. Yes I do have a 'stinky bum bum.' It's hardly a surprise, is it, it has been a long night?! We don’t complain about Daddy smelling of his medicine do it – neither of us are sure what medicine he takes but it has it most nights and is a lot happier afterwards so maybe he is a little sad.

He then changed my nappy before I was allowed my breakfast which made me cross because I spied my little sister tucking into her porridge. I kicked the nappy and it flopped right onto Daddy’s leg and left a poo stain on his trousers. I thought that I was going to be in trouble but surprisingly, he said that this was 'just great.' So that was lucky.

08.30
Daddy left wearing his smart trousers and shirt, now cleaned up from the poo incident – We are not sure what “Daddy Work” is but he does it a lot

09:00
I didn’t really know what I wanted to play with and I thought that as it looked like my brother was having fun I would take his toys and play with them. He was rummaging in the toy basket and so I tipped the whole basket over, he got a bit cross with me, it turns out that I didn't fancy anything in there anyway. Mummy tried to make us play at car racing on the floor with the magnetic cars but she does it all wrong. Got cross at Mummy's toy car ineptitude and threw a paddy, she just doesn’t know how to play cars sometimes.

09:30
Felt a bit bored, so I messed with the telly by pressing all the buttons on the remote, me and my brother thought it was really funny watching Mummy trying to sort it out as she mutters that rhyme about the duck's cake. We kept trying to take the remote and run away with it which made her mutter that rhyme even more

11:00
Went to the park. I'm confused about what we are supposed to do here, because Mummy always tells my brother and I that it 'will be nice to run around!' but then seems agitated when we do run around. She is particularly agitated when I run to the edge of the climbing frame and stand at the top of the large slide and keeps trying to move me back to the bit where there are railings on all sides. How boring is that? Eventually, after lots of sighing we are removed from the climbing frame altogether and as she attempts to wrestle us into the pushchair we look at each other to make a plan, so while my brother runs off, I assume the stiff-as-a-floorboard position to illustrate my unhappiness with the situation. Eventually Mummy catches my Brother and he was sat imprisoned in the pushchair with me, this isn't 'running around' is it? The little protest did at least secure both of us some chocolate buttons

12.30
We both ate our lunch really nicely. This lulled Mummy into a false sense of security about our independent feeding capabilities (groundwork for teatime, see 17:00)

14:00
Mummy picked me and my brother up for a cuddle on the sofa to read a story. She said we could 'join in' but then she got cross with me when I wanted to hold it and turn all the pages myself. Once again, I have no idea where I stand. Nobody understands me. I just want to turn all of the pages.

15:30
We both started feeling a bit tired so we cracked out the 'I'm tired' signals (getting slightly agitated with each other, rubbing our eyes, I did the glazed-over stare and my brother kept pointing to his mouth asking for a dummy.) As soon as Mummy put us into the pushchair for a sleep we became un-tired again, this always makes us laugh. We both did the sad moany noises so she felt guilty while she sorted out the washing. It wasn’t working so we turned up the volume to shouting after a few moments as we heard her tell our little sister that we would “settle down in a minute” After 5 more minutes we won and Mummy got us back out of the chair. Mummy doesn't know why she “bloody bothers sometimes”.

17:00
Stuck a whole hand in my spaghetti hoops tonight and threw them about, my brother chucked his spoon across the floor. He cried because his spoon was on the floor and I cried as my hand was covered in hoops. When Daddy got home, Mummy was scrubbing spaghetti hoops off the skirting board. She told Daddy we had 'been like this all day.' Erm, that's not fair. She forgot to tell him about all the fun we'd had on the climbing frame and reading a book, for a start.

17:30
We both went over to see what Daddy was doing on his computer. We pressed some buttons. This was not well received. He turned it off.

18:30
My brother and I looked at each other, we had just both received our daily telepathic notification from the United Kingdom’s toddlers' Union that the Witching Hour had started. We treated everyone to a constant snotty whingey cry until Daddy said he 'couldn't bear it anymore' poured out his medicine and went to run a bath.

19:00
Daddy brought his medicine up to the bath with him (as he normally does) as mentioned it does smell funny but 3 or 4 of those little glasses and it does cheer him up. We both prefer the smell of Mummy’s medicine, she has a big red glass of it just as we go up for a bath. We hope that they are both ok and not too unwell. Daddy said that “we make him drink it” the other day. We chatted about this and just don’t know what he means as he seems to do a pretty good job by himself.

19:30
We made sure we fell asleep in our best angelic poses – I had one hand up by my cheek and a slight smile which seems to be a winner. My brother was cuddled up with his bear, both of us fooled them we think. We are pretty sure we heard them both whisper, 'Love you gorgeous boys” as they left so it definitely did the trick. I think I will recommence with the shouting at about 4 am tomorrow!!

Fuertenews is a free publication bringing you news and views about Fuerteventura. Any donations would be welcome.